He was in Geneve when he started to realize this. He feels empty, he is empty. Everyone was hugging and smiling and happy, yet he was frozen and he was cold. He didn’t predict this would happen, how can he be feel lonely in the midst of the crowd?

It is like, it is like all the noises were all vacuumed out of him, he feels he is like a death eater, sucking happiness away. The only difference is, the only happiness that he sucked away was his own. 

While everyone was happy, he isn’t. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but there seems to be a big barrier from him to the world. No, it is not depression, nor is it karma, but this is bigger. It is his soul. He has none.

He should be happy when he met her, but no, it is metaphorical not a reality. He should have smiled, because he was longing for this moment for so long. He should have said something, anything , because in reality he wants to talk to her forever and ever. He wants to stare, but he looks away, because he feels that his soul couldn’t provide the warmth and happiness. 

He wants to be with her, sincerely,but he is so hurt that he doesn’t want to drag her into this.

All he feels is that he is nothing.Nothing but a dead soul walking.